We went over to John's to watch movies last week and I realized there are really only a few plots out there—the great themes of human existence—just done over and over ad nauseam with infinite variations. Why do people want to watch the same thing over and over? So few of the major plots apply to me anymore so there’s really little appeal. Movies about money, riches, stealing, greed, materialism, envy, treasures, collections, fancy this, fancy that—no appeal. Murder, betrayal, jealousy, violence, war, brutality, gore—no appeal. Love, lust, sex, winning the girl (or boy), tragedy, loss. All of these basic themes over and over and over again. And none of them represent real life that sits waiting to be lived once you get off the couch. I just don’t get it. And once you do get off the couch and live the real themes of live—what’s really the point when they’ve already been lived over and over and over again in the real world just as they have been in the movies? There has to be more to it than this.
I’m at the point where I realize it doesn’t matter a bit if I live or die. I’m just one of an infinite number of processes unfolding on the earth and in the universe and death is just a transformation of my energy. I don't cling to my life because in and of itself it's not all that significant. I think it’s the ongoing process of life and transformation that matters much more.
Probably the fact that I wear my life loosely is an asset or could be if I knew how to use it. It gets back to fearlessness and freedom. With no fear of death I should be able to live fearlessly and radically. But what are these times really calling for? What are the radical, free, and fearless acts that are needed?