Friday, October 6, 2006

I’m all about simplicity these days. I want to get back to the essence of life. Somewhere in the past few years I’ve lost my center. I want to get it back and I feel like the key to that is to be found in simplicity. I don’t want all the trappings of modern life to obscure the real essence of my life.

I’m making progress, but there’s still much for me to do. Every week when I venture into Boulder County the dichotomy of my two lives is overwhelming. The traffic, the rude drivers, the rampant commercialism, the tract after tract of hideous developments with huge ugly house--it all eats away at my soul. How can people live immersed in all of that constantly and not just go crazy? It would be so much better if I didn’t have to go in there every week. I need to get mediation scheduled with Pete so hopefully we can reach an agreement. I think I also need to find some kind of a regular spiritual practice. Even though I tired of the Dances of Universal Peace after a while, I think that regular spiritual communion with others was really important for me. I don’t know what could replace that out where I am now. I know I would like to develop a regular meditation habit--although I’ve failed that for as long as I’ve been alive. But I also think it’s important for me to participate in some sort of spiritual community. I need to start looking for one. Not necessarily strictly spiritual maybe with an ecological intent to it, I don’t know. I just know I need to realign my life. I used to be so centered and powerful. I’m not being my full self these days.