I’m starting to acquire an intuitive sense of what belongs. Pairing down my life to what matters most, and eliminating clutter, has opened up space for me to start recognizing what wants to manifest and what fits in here. I still have a long way to go in streamlining my physical surroundings, but I’ve also come an incredible distance already.
At times I find myself slipping into that different set of eyes—the one that sees nuance and layers. It’s when I look out of those eyes that it becomes glaringly obvious what doesn’t fit. Recently it was the realization (I know how goofy and trivial this will sound) that my black bag--what I used to carry my books and notebooks and whatever else I need whenever I go out--just doesn’t fit. It just feels all wrong, somehow. I can’t explain. I could get all rational and come up with all sorts of explanations for why it might not be a good fit, but really all that matters is I know it doesn’t fit.
Not that I have anything to replace it with—but now at least I recognize that it ultimately doesn’t belong.
This all presents a fascinating new approach. Imagine having this kind of radar on all the time. Being able to feel the pull of objects that want to belong in my space and sensing when the energy is all wrong. Imagine if everyone had this radar--what kind of “consumers” would we become? Consumers of beauty and harmony, maybe.
I’ve noticed though, too, that even when I’m totally immersed in the perfection of my surroundings there’s always a sort of tension. I might describe it as a yearning, or even a dissatisfaction. Here is utter perfection—how I revel in its bliss! And yet simultaneously there’s this tension or yearning. What is that?
I think maybe it’s just the pulse of creation. The blissful perfection of the moment is static, whereas life is ever-changing. The yearning, I think, is the universe pulsing threw me seeking the next moment, the next now. Reinventing and re-experiencing itself in each new NOW. The static present rubbing up against the forever malleable future means there will always be a dynamic tension existing in even the most harmonious of NOWs.
When I experienced bliss, and I want to know what I can do with it, that’s the pulsing of creation. That’s the dynamic tension of a conscious universe creating itself.